VERBALIZING your GOALS tells you they're ACCOMPLISHED!?

Simply VERBALIZING your GOALS tricks your mind into thinking they're ACCOMPLISHED!? Changing my major last year, blogging and sharing about goals I have to get there, I have found it a good breather, but am now striving to put it to practice. Talk is cheap and too often do I plan a routine more than doing it. On the radio someone said that sharing that you are going to say skydive once in your life or any goals tricks your brain into thinking you already did them, but I never really believed it until it actually occured to me and I read an article about it. From the gathered responses of friends I have heard some interesting points. My roommate said when she has a goal she does not share it with anyone until it is finished if at all or unless it is brought up in a conversation. Many of my friends agree as do I that it is good to set goals; whether mentally, written down or verbally. Accountability partners, whether friend, teacher, or simply someone you look up to can be very useful in these situations. As some have mentioned this article may not apply to goals specifically, but rather dreaming about the future, ideas, or dreams, but isn't that where goals come from; however I do agree that it is not healthy to stay in the dream state and not set any goals. When you set goals you create a challenge for yourself. Carrying out the goal depends on how motivated you are to do it. So quit the chatting and get to doing it. Yes it's good to ask for prayer, but sometimes answers come in doing. And if you're like me don't worry about looking at every option to attack the goal correctly. Sometimes it's just trial and error. As I have said in other blogs: sometimes mistakes are our way of getting where we want and we can't do more than our best. Maybe doing things as they come to mind instead of simply talking about them. What about proper preparation before I say I will do something such as sharing my testimony and just winging it even if I feel unprepared. I know having accountability partners helps, but it's up to me to actually do it right? Maybe that's why people say talk is cheap...
What do you think? I would love some thoughts and opinions...

Other resources:
https://www.ted.com/talks/derek_sivers_keep_your_goals_to_yourself

Living Inside Out!!

Introduction

         There are a lot of people who are still talking about the movie Inside Out!!  I had the chance to see it when it came out in theaters and was inspired to write this amazing blog about how the we all needs to gain a better understanding of how to expresses themselves or use their emotions appropriately.  This being said I apologize as I let time get the better of me.  Through the courses I have been taking at school as well as the course of my years as an adult, I have come to realize a few things: There is a time and place for everything (see Eccl. 3) discussing my fears or emotions is one thing, while conquering them is another.  It may seem obvious when you put it in such plain words, but as much as I thought I knew this I guess I thought writing about it was how I could deal with it.  While writing about what I am going through may inspire me to change or help me come up with ideas to do so, but it will not necessarily solve the problem unless I allow it to.

Living Inside Out!!

 Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 (NIV)

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace."

Titus 3:9-10
9 Do not argue with people about foolish questions and about the Law. Do not spend time talking about all of your early fathers. This does not help anyone and it is of no use. 10 Talk once or twice to a person who tries to divide people into groups against each other. If he does not stop, have nothing to do with him. 

 

Fail or Success

          In order to move on to my future, it has become necessary to look at my past.  There are times I dwell in my past and have not been able to see any hope in my future, but with one step at a time, I am getting closer to a goal for a much happier and brighter future.  Not living in the past or dwelling on it, but remembering the past and learning from it, so as to better live in the present for a better future.  I find it interesting that often "The enemy fights the hardest when he knows God has something good in store."  I love how it is best put in Season 3 of the TV show Nikita—The Guardian: “…to think about her future…she needs to be completely clear-eyed about her past.  After all, we can’t know where we’re going until we know where we came from.  It’s not an easy journey, it can be painful, arduous, but if we have the courage to face the truth it can lead to the right path…[sometimes we just need] clarity.  Our minds can be unreliable narrators.  You may think you know with absolute certainty what’s in your past and then you find out you don’t know the past at all.”  I have been through a lot   
         

The best thing anyone could say to me is you're not going to make it as a singer, you can't sing.  Many leaders were told of their insignificance.  Take Moses for example, he was convinced he had a speech problem when in the end it turned out he was just scared and didn't see it until he tried.  Albert Einstein was thought to be mentally handicapped and anti-social because he did not speak until later in life, but became to be a great scientist.  Plus if you ask me it's better to listen more than speak and I think he said something about that.  No in all seriousness telling me I couldn't sing was what pushed me to realize I wasn't living up to my fullest potential and ever since I began to see I never really pushed myself when it came to the I don't really care to do.  Like for instance, I am now in a Jazz class and I realized I am having a lot of fun with finding freedom in my voice and I should just let go and not care what I sound like.  Isn't that true with life as well, live, learn, and grow?  That year I found myself looking at other areas in life and putting more effort to learn from my mistakes.  Sometimes it takes a mistake to learn what we shouldn't do or don't want.  It was as if God was asking me if I was born walking and talking.  Well, when you think about it we have been learning from our mistakes since birth, we needed to fall before we walked correctly and mess-up our speech before we could form words.  I like how Eric from Friday Night Lights puts it, "Every man at some point in his life is gonna lose a battle.  He's gonna fight and he's gonna lose, but what makes him a man is that in the midst of that battle, he does not lose himself."  In other words, it's not what we go through, but how we respond to it.  I hope to one day I learn to carry the freedom I learn in Jazz to all the music and in life as well.  As I said once before true freedom is when we are comfortable with vulnerability.  That way I can learn to give my all through all I seek out in honor and reverence of the Lord.  For as it states in 2 Corinthians 10:17 "Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord."  Now I am not saying life is all about the achievements in life; however, it is often full of surprise and sometimes we need to work around them with what we have.  A lot of times we go through struggles that may bring us down, but it should only move us to push harder from another direction.  Now the teacher I had the conversation with may not like my answer, but there are plenty of times teachers have said this and I seek to do this, but only on a momentary standard, so it's about time I made a change and learn my lesson.  This being said don't let anyone convince you that you can't do something until you try.  Hard may not be easy, but it's not impossible.  For it's only as hard as you make it, so why not make it fun and as enjoyable as you can.

Confession

1 Corinthians 6:12-13, 19-20 (New Living Version)

“ I am allowed to do all things, but not everything is good for me to do!  Even if I am free to do all things, I will not do them if I think it would be hard for me to stop when I know I should...The body was not meant for sex sins.  It was meant to work for the Lord.  The Lord is for our body..."  Do you not know that your bodies are a part of Christ Himself?  Am I to take part of Christ and make it a part of a woman who sells the use of her body? No! Never  Do you not know that a man who joins himself to a woman who sells the use of her body becomes a part of her?  The Holy writings say, 'The two will become one.'...Do you not know that your body is a house of God [other versions say temple] where the Holy Spirit lives?  God gave you His holy Spirit.  Now you belong to God.  You do not belong to yourself.  God bought you with a great price.  So honor God with your body.  You belong to Him."  

Luke 9:23(NIV)

“Then he said to them all: 'Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me."

         Confession relationships have not always been my strong suit.  Yes I'm great at building friendships, but what I am referring to is a relationship with the opposite sex.  In my family, my age group is the next to get married, so it is a topic I have been thinking about a lot lately.  I've only been in one relationship, but it did not end well.
         My first year of College I saw a great spiritual need, but not many outlets to offer help.  I was ministering to others so much there were times I forgot to take care of myself and was drawn into the attention I was receiving from guys.  At first it was simply conversational, but then lead to a friendship and it was not until it was too late that I realized I had a problem.  I thought I was putting the needs of the other first.  I had the right intentions, but let my emotions get the better of me.  I looked to man instead of God.  As Mike Donehey puts it, "When I realize I don't want that thing
[, but] it's really the one who made that thing [or person] that's the one my soul longs for I can trust Christ [with my life]."

          OK, so let me start off by saying too many people in society portray the wrong idea of a relationship and it is almost nauseating.  Too often do I see people rushing into a relationship without getting to know the person.  In a discussion in one of my classes a student said people questioned why her and her fiance had not lived together before they got engaged or even talked about marriage.  What happened to getting to know one another?  As we see 1 Corinthians 6:16, "a man who joins himself to a woman...becomes a part of her."  Science calls it a releases of oxytocin and vasopressin creating a strong bond between one another lasting regardless if they want it or not.  The release of these hormones are often believed to be the reason some people stay in an abusive relationship.  Knowing this is it really worth pushing the limits in a dating relationship when you are not sure will last?  I love the way singer/songwriter Tyler Ward put it, "You're never going to find the right person until you are the right person."  This being said we don't know what we have to offer or sometimes even what we want until we know ourselves.
       Marriage is more than a simple companionship.  It is a relationship with one another designed to glory God by showing the full image of Christ.  If dating is practice for marriage, how can we know our role if we don't know who we are in Christ?  I love how the movie Not Easily Broken ends, "God didn't make me to be a husband [wife], coach, or daddy [mommy].  These are just titles not who we are as men [women].  But I guess, sometimes he has to let life turn you upside-down so you can learn how to live right side up".  To be honest for the longest time I always thought I was a Tomboy or one of the so called, "tough girls".  It's not so much that I liked to hang around guys.  In fact I avoided guys until my Junior year of High School.  It was as if I saw them to be "fairly useless and unhelpful" as Courtney Reissig says in her book, Accidental Feminist.  I was also afraid of doing anything girly as if it would make me seem weak.  Culture has many stereotypes on the roles men and women play in both the world and home.  It doesn't make any girl/guy less or more of a girl/guy if you do or don't do the things every girl/guy does.  As long as you are being yourself and are not afraid of who you are that's all that matters.  So don't hold back just be yourself no matter what others think.  If someone doesn't like it that's their problem.  Besides all that really matters is what God thinks of you right?
       I didn't know what true love was until I knew who I was in Christ or what I really wanted.  I sought after affection and comfort from others to fill what only God could.  Then coming from a broken relationship I believed a lie that the broken relationship was all I knew; that I couldn't love and wondered if I ever did.  I began to learn that as C.S. Lewis puts it, "humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less."  I've had a rough start and I don't know about you, but I want to start new, to save myself for someone special and I'd go as far to say till marriage.  I have no problem with falling in love with my best friend and wouldn't mind if he loved God more than me.  There is more to a relationship than the physical and sometimes all it takes is to really get to know yourself before you know what you have to offer or even what you want.  So who are you really and are you believing a lie keeping you from seeing the real you, (who God made you to be) and how does that affect your relationships?

Sources:
I Suck, You Suck, Let's Date! Tyler Ward

Sex Tips (my hope for young women) Tyler Ward:

Where Life Will Never Die Mike Donehey

Beloved: The Last Supper - Mike Donehey

Other Resources:
Why It's so Important to Marry a Godly Man!!

Don't Settle When You're Dating Jefferson Bethke:

Fear or Humility

Romans 8:31-39
“What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?"  

        We are to fear God not man.  We should not be afraid of God, but we should fear Him in reverence to who he is as Job learned to do.  Fear can promote humility with the appropriate response!!  Don't get me wrong, fear is not of God; however overcoming fear is not accomplished without humility.  Too often are we clouded by pride.  When we fear we feel vulnerable and vulnerability reminds us of our mistakes.  Overcoming our fears allow us to Trust God and fear him rather than man.

True freedom comes when you're not afraid of vulnerability.  Then and only then can you fully surrender; giving God full authority.

If you are interested in more these are published in a devotional on Amazon: link to come

   
#Kalei #Blogs #Fear #Misunderstood

Sources Used:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mZL2tAWcGj8&list=PLrq5kfc63lHdyJ7sHMNwKKqGXmMO4G-OA&index=2

Community

John 16:33 (ESV). "I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation period but take heart semicolon I have overcome the world."

Genesis 1:26
“Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.”

Hebrews 10:24-25(ESV)"And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.

         We all live and learn.  I could go on and on about all the pain I have been through; anger management as a young child, the suicidal death of a friend my sophomore year of High School, and about a year ago went to the funeral of a daughter I went to Highschool with and her mother.  I have had my fair share of pain and it has not always been an easy road, but it has only made me stronger.  Experience has taught me that it's not what you've been through, but how you respond and we were not meant to do it alone, but live in community.  Looking back I would say that while hard may not be easy and neither is it impossible, in order to overcome the situation there are times others are needed for guidance.  Yes, there are times we can do it ourselves and in no way should we be lazy, but there comes a point when you need to seek the counsel of others.          

 

For more see link below for full devotional on Amazon coming soon:

Forgiveness

Forgiveness
 Note: There are those who debate whether or not we are to forgive someone if they do not accept our forgiveness.  For sometime I did not understand it until someone said, "blatantly forgiving someone who sinned against you, and they do not repent and accept it, is the same as accepting the sin to be ok."  In other words forgiving someone is not accepting what they did, but rather that you are willing to forgive them are praying for them digitally.  All this while being patient and not holding a grudge against them if they do not repent.

Romans 2:4
"Or do you presume on the riches of his kindness and forbearance and patience, not knowing that God's kindness is meant to lead you to repentance?"

Matthew 5:43-47 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven.  He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.  If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that?” 

Psalm 103: 12 "As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

2 Timothy 2:4, 22-26 “No soldier gets entangled in civilian pursuits, since his aim is to please the one who enlisted him…So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.  Have nothing to do with foolish, ignorant controversies; you know that they breed quarrels.  And the Lord's servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, after being captured by him to do his will.”
 

        “Blessed is the one who receives vengeance upon their family and does not respond in vengeance!!”  For as we see in Romans 4:2 it is the kindness of the Lord that brings us to repentance.  In Matthew 5:43-47 we are told to love our enemies, but what does that really mean?  We hear forgive and forget all the time, but do we really take into account what that looks like?  I rarely hold grudges; however the death of a mother and daughter due to vengeance has caused me to question my thinking.  I was surprised and a little humbled with the response the family had in this situation.  "...I would like to extend my sincere thanks...We have almost felt in a physical sense God's hands reaching out to us and holding us up in your faithful prayers.  It truly has been a humbling experience for us to have received such loving support and mere words seem scarcely enough to express our thanks, but we want to give all the glory to our God."  Now it is not like I do not believe in the power of God, and honestly am not sure what I expected, but just did not expect a family in that situation to respond with such gratitude.  For Christ traded his life for a murderer, Barabbas, who did not even known who Christ was, but he did it anyway.  
        

For more stay tuned for link below for full devotional on Amazon coming soon:

Souces:

Jesus is Loving Barabbas

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RwX_EpNR4CA
God is not an Elephant Mike Donehey:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U-mNFhHafjM

The Chair Mike Donehey:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N4UDgKqY3EE

Other Resources:

If We're Honest Francesca Battistelli: 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lDcTvtuuVU8

Forgiveness Matthew West
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n9J6xOT3Ldw 

Leader or Follower

Matthew 15:14 (ESV)
"Let them alone; they are blind guides.  And if the blind lead the blind, both will fall into a pit."

Deuteronomy 5:24-27 (NIV)

And you said, “The Lord our God has shown us his glory and his majesty, and we have heard his voice from the fire. Today we have seen that a person can live even if God speaks with them.  But now, why should we die?  This great fire will consume us, and we will die if we hear the voice of the Lord our God any longer.  For what mortal has ever heard the voice of the living God speaking out of fire, as we have, and survived?  Go near and listen to all that the LORD our God says. Then tell us whatever the Lord our God tells you. We will listen and obey.”

John 16:13 (NLT)

 "When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all truth. He will not speak on his own but will tell you what he has heard.  He will tell you about the future." 

         Leadership is all over the media and affects all ages especially teens and kids today.  What about kids?  How should it be addressed?  What are good leaders?  When I was young  I never had a problem with making friends or hanging out with the wrong crowd, but I was always a team player; always following them around and doing what they did.  I listened to and sought after advice from mentors, teachers, and pastors but never really embraced it or stood for something on my own.  Growing up with a father who struggled with depression I never really had a leader in my life and was a little hesitant at first when I began to take on leadership roles.  I worried I didn't know what a leader was, but later realized I may have known more than I thought.
         There may be born leaders; however leadership is discovered.  If you look at the great leaders of today and through history, they all had guidance or someone to follow that formed how they lead and encourage others to follow the same things.  Even Jesus followed the example of his heavenly father.  When you think about it, choices determine who or what we follow.  If this is so doesn't that make them followers and not leaders?  "Hold up so you're saying there is no such thing as a leader?"  Don't get me wrong there are people who point or lead others in certain directions or they would not be called leaders; however they need a basis to form their opinions, thoughts, or ideas.  What it all comes down to is who do you follow?  When we learn to follow Christ it not only takes off the pressure, but leaves room for humility, and room for God's intervention or to do it God's way and not ours, so maybe I knew what I was doing all all along; to follow.  Yes we can lead others or point people to Christ, but is it not God who directs anyway?