Forgiveness
Note: There are those who debate whether or not we are to forgive someone if they do not accept our forgiveness. For sometime I did not understand it until someone said, "blatantly forgiving someone who sinned against you, and they do not repent and accept it, is the same as accepting the sin to be ok." In other words forgiving someone is not accepting what they did, but rather that you are willing to forgive them are praying for them digitally. All this while being patient and not holding a grudge against them if they do not repent.
Romans 2:4
"Or do you presume on the riches of his kindness and forbearance and patience, not knowing that God's kindness is meant to lead you to repentance?"
Matthew 5:43-47 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that?”
Note: There are those who debate whether or not we are to forgive someone if they do not accept our forgiveness. For sometime I did not understand it until someone said, "blatantly forgiving someone who sinned against you, and they do not repent and accept it, is the same as accepting the sin to be ok." In other words forgiving someone is not accepting what they did, but rather that you are willing to forgive them are praying for them digitally. All this while being patient and not holding a grudge against them if they do not repent.
Romans 2:4
"Or do you presume on the riches of his kindness and forbearance and patience, not knowing that God's kindness is meant to lead you to repentance?"
Matthew 5:43-47 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that?”
Psalm 103: 12 "As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.
2 Timothy 2:4, 22-26 “No soldier
gets entangled in civilian pursuits, since his aim is to please the one who
enlisted him…So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness,
faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart. Have nothing to do with foolish, ignorant controversies; you know that they breed quarrels. And the Lord's servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a
knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, after being captured by
him to do his will.”
“Blessed
is the one who receives vengeance upon their family and does not respond in vengeance!!” For as we see in Romans 4:2 it is the kindness of the Lord that brings us to repentance. In Matthew 5:43-47 we are told
to love our enemies, but what does that really mean? We hear forgive and forget all the time, but
do we really take into account what that looks like? I rarely hold
grudges; however the death of a mother and daughter due to vengeance has
caused me to question my thinking. I was surprised and a little humbled with the response the
family had in this situation. "...I would like to extend my
sincere thanks...We have almost felt in a physical sense God's hands reaching
out to us and holding us up in your faithful prayers. It truly has been a
humbling experience for us to have received such loving support and mere words
seem scarcely enough to express our thanks, but we want to give all the glory
to our God." Now it is not like I do not believe in the power of God, and honestly
am not sure what I expected, but just did not expect a family in that situation
to respond with such gratitude. For Christ traded his life for a murderer, Barabbas, who did not
even known who Christ was, but he did it anyway.
We may not always be able to forget, but that does not give us permission to hold a grudge against anyone. I looked up the word forgive in hopes of finding a connection between forgive and forget and all I got was "the action or process of forgiving or being forgiven." The old English was forgiefan or forgiefenes means to give, bestow, cause, deliver, grant, or inflict. It is almost like saying forgiveness is a gift or at least in the old English that is. So to forgive those who did you or your loved ones wrong is a gift someone bestows upon someone else. My point in all this is that the family who had this death was very humble and through help from others began to turn it around and pray for the person who attacked their family instead of returning it with vengeance. Now do not get me wrong, sure what they did may have been wrong, but why get caught up in it? We all make mistakes, so why let that determine how we treat ourselves or others? Christ took the place of Barabbas, a thug, and murderer, through death on the cross. Christ, Lord and man who came and lived a blameless life and died for a ruthless sinner, for all sinners past, present, and future by death on a cross. Now that is what I call true love. It may be hard and they may not even accept it, but in the long run forgiveness is more worth it than grief or vengeance.
We may not always be able to forget, but that does not give us permission to hold a grudge against anyone. I looked up the word forgive in hopes of finding a connection between forgive and forget and all I got was "the action or process of forgiving or being forgiven." The old English was forgiefan or forgiefenes means to give, bestow, cause, deliver, grant, or inflict. It is almost like saying forgiveness is a gift or at least in the old English that is. So to forgive those who did you or your loved ones wrong is a gift someone bestows upon someone else. My point in all this is that the family who had this death was very humble and through help from others began to turn it around and pray for the person who attacked their family instead of returning it with vengeance. Now do not get me wrong, sure what they did may have been wrong, but why get caught up in it? We all make mistakes, so why let that determine how we treat ourselves or others? Christ took the place of Barabbas, a thug, and murderer, through death on the cross. Christ, Lord and man who came and lived a blameless life and died for a ruthless sinner, for all sinners past, present, and future by death on a cross. Now that is what I call true love. It may be hard and they may not even accept it, but in the long run forgiveness is more worth it than grief or vengeance.
It is hard when you have to forgive someone who does
not understand or accept it. In that
case we have to realize we have done all we can and should not let it get to
us, feel guilty or blame ourselves where we are not to be blamed. When I sought answers for the death of my
first crush my sophomore year of high school I began blaming myself due to
situations prior to his death and in college after forgiving my ex I was left
with a since of guilt and ended up with a need to forgive myself. I am
not saying I was not at fault in either situation, but what good does it do to
blame myself. In some cases when we
forgive others we first have to forgive ourselves realizing we were just as at
fault as they were. My pastor always
says "choices have both good and bad consequences." or as I like to
say we are only subject to the choices we make. Instead of regret, the
best I can do is learn from the past to ensure a better future. There are
also family members that come to mind where I would say we have our differences.
Even though I strive to forgive, at times I let our differences get the better
of me. It may be easy to point fingers or prove them wrong, but what is
the point if it is not going to get anywhere? No one is perfect, so am I
any better? I love how Mike Donehey puts it: “God is not an elephant.”
Elephants have a good memory and rarely forget; however God
forgets. If God is not an elephant, why then should we be? We may not forget everything that was done,
but if we all make mistakes why hold it against them nor do I always agree with
them, but it
does not mean I should push them away all entirely.
As a
follower of Christ I do my best to forgive even if just to point to the
cross. For Christ forgave so His father could forget: Psalm 103:12 “He
has removed our sins as far as the east is from the west.” As
Christ said in Luke 23: “Father forgive them for they don’t know what
they do.” In 2
Timothy 2 Paul also says we ought to stand for peace and not argue for simply arguments
sake. Why
argue with something that will end in nothing when you could allow God to make
it into something more. It is one thing to listen and reply with humility
and kindness, but it is another to believe or stand for what they say or
believe. Just because you respect them as a person does not mean you have to believe it yourself. Does Christ not call us to
love our enemies (Matthew 5:43-47)? It
goes further on to say in Matthew 7:3 not
judging others when you have something to deal with yourself as well. In other words let us not be hypocrites, “for
those who judge will be judged. For what
good is it to talk about a wrong in the life of another, yet abide by the same
wrong yourself?
Yes there are times one may have to push people
away if or when it causes us to fall. In this regards however it doesn't
mean we should not point them in the right direction or to another if they come
to us seeking help. For what good is it to hate when they are now seeking
help? Mike Donehey once mentioned his youth pastor who said, "…Good
character is corrupted by bad company. No matter how good you are, you’ll
never be able to pull those bad people up to you, so it’s better if you just
leave them alone." Mike then concluded with: "when
I look at Jesus I don’t think Jesus was standing on a chair looking down on
people. In fact he was hanging out with whores and drunks…, so…get down
off your pedestal and down on your face and wash some feet…Then you won’t have
to worry about who’s corrupting who.” As stated earlier we may
not be able to forget, but we don't have to get caught up in it. With
this realization, respect may be a better word to relate to forgiveness.
Remember the father who lost a mother/wife and daughter/sister? I
loved what the father said in the bulletin at the funeral. "...I
would like to extend my sincere thanks...We have almost felt in a physical
sense God's hands reaching out to us and holding us up in your faithful
prayers. It truly has been a humbling experience for us to have received
such loving support and mere words seem scarcely enough to express our thanks,
but we want to give all the glory to our God." Not only has this
been a humbling experience for myself, but with a recent glimpse into my past
in order to look into my future I have been able to forgive myself in areas I
didn't realize I just put aside and needed to. Blessed is the one who
receives vengeance upon their family, yet still responds, "I forgive
you!!" That is what I call True Love. If God can forgive
us why then can we not forgive?
Blessings,
Kalei
I
would love to hear some of your thoughts or opinions on this subject.
Please feel free to leave you comments and questions or any other
suggestions on topics you would like me to blog about!! I am open to
any suggestions and compliments as well as constructive criticism.
~Thanks
~Thanks
Souces:
Jesus is Loving Barabbas
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RwX_EpNR4CA
God is not an Elephant Mike Donehey:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U-mNFhHafjM
The Chair Mike Donehey:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N4UDgKqY3EE
God is not an Elephant Mike Donehey:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U-mNFhHafjM
The Chair Mike Donehey:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N4UDgKqY3EE
Other Resources:
If We're Honest Francesca Battistelli: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lDcTvtuuVU8
Forgiveness Matthew West
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n9J6xOT3Ldw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n9J6xOT3Ldw
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