Expectation

Galatians 3:3-6 "Are you so foolish? After beginning by means of the Spirit, are you now trying to finish by means of the flesh? Have you experienced so much in vain—if it really was in vain?  So again I ask, does God give you his Spirit and work miracles among you by the works of the law, or by your believing what you heard?"

Jeremiah 29:11
"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Proverbs 16:9
"In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps."  

Expectation—preconceived tags for greatness or failure put on by others or yourself.  Do we let them dictate who we are, what to say or throw away the tags and just be ourselves?  There are times we may be weighed down by expectations, whether brought on from others or ourselves.  We have a choice to let it break us or make us strong.  Having an original goal of being a music therapy major I am beginning to realize how much music is used every day as therapy not only for myself, but many others as well.  I often find it to be the easiest way to express myself under difficult situations.  In a video journal on their song Warn, Tenth Avenue North's lead singer, Mike Donehey, points out that it is rarely the things in life that are the most comfortable where we see God's hand at work.  He has a point.  It can be a good thing to complain or just talk it out even with yourself, but if a solution is not found from it what is the point?  Instead why not try to look at it from God's perspective?  Why not ask God what he wants to teach us through this circumstance?  In another discussion about their song, The Struggle, Tenth Avenue North’s lead singer, Mike Donehey, points out that it's often in hardships we cry out to the Lord to take them away when we need to be careful to note being a believer does not guarantee life will be easier.  He goes on and reiterates that it's often in hardships we cry out to the Lord to take them away when we need to be careful to note being a believer does not guarantee life will be easier. 

         We are so often our own worst enemies.  Striving to live to my fullest potential and looking into a scholarships for the years to follow, I often get into the habit of living up to some sort of self-made expectations.  What I've come to realize is this: I cannot change the world or help others unless I allow life to change me and I may not change the world, but I will give all I can.  When in the end, the only thing that I will regret is not trying no matter the accomplishments.  For too long I have convinced myself I wanted to do more with my gifts other than simply perform.  At least that’s how it began.  Eventually it turned into fear of getting a big head, then not living up to some self-made expectation.  Not that music therapy is good or bad, but I need to make sure it alines with God's plan for my life and use music in a way to best serve Him. 

         Now there is a book called Don't Shoot I'm the Guitar Man.  It was supposed to be made into a film, but I can't seem to find it anywhere.  Well I picked this up some time ago because the title seemed interesting to me.  It wasn't till much later I realized how much of an impact it would have on my life.  As the story goes there was this boy who grew to love music and started playing at bars in his 20s and eventually became a professional singer.  I never really got to finish the book, but my point is somewhere along the way he ended up teaching music to people in prison.  There is also a movie I really love called Broken Hill.  It is about an Australian composer whose dad wants him to be a sheep herder; however he has always had a love for music and composition.  He then aspires to win a music scholarship, but to apply he needs musicians who can play his music.  Hanging out with the wrong crowd he gets into trouble with the law and convinces the prison to allow him to spend community service composing a song for a group of prisoners for his scholarship.  What do these two have in common?  You probably guessed it already.  They both worked in prisons.  Not only so, but they used music in a therapeutic way to give prisoners something substantial to do other than from breaking the law.

 This is one path I never would have even imagined, but through this as well as a few personal volunteering experiences, I have recently gained a passion for doing the same, serving those in prisons through music.  I guess I could say it's my fault for asking how I can fully use my talent to serve him.  I have a strong feeling and pull toward a field of mission work as a Christian singer and music therapist in prisons.  The total opposite of my original intentions.  Well thanks God, How am I gonna get there?  I mean I thought it would, as Mike Donehey puts it, "make life easier...more comfortable."  Right?  Yes it may have been my initial thought, but in a since it was all worth it.  I was surprised to find out many of the teenagers in the detention center write songs as a stress reliever or at least have a musical talent of some sort.  It may not be easier and I will definitely need more determination to pursue on with the journey set ahead of me, but it is through the search of God's plan for my life I have begun to find true freedom in Him fully surrendering to Him.  The funny thing is I went to the school I am at now specifically to pursue Music Therapy, but then God pulled in the reigns and was like “I've got bigger plans”. 

         Come to think about it until recently I never really sat down to ask God what he thought anyway.  Now I am on a mission slowly, but surely.  A mission to bring a light to a place of darkness with hope that they too will learn to find freedom in the Lord; freedom from the bondage to the sins that clenches onto them so dearly.  It may only be a short term mission with the D-homes or it may be a lifetime of service.  Whatever it may be I will not act in haste, nor with force, but patience, endurance and an act of following His lead.  The best advice I have been given is “I am not famous. [God is]” ~B Hayley or as Mike Donehey says Get Smaller, “If you don’t wanna hold a toilet brush you got no business holding a microphone…”  So which will you choose:  Allow your tags of expectation to represent or define you?  Or simply doing your best and put to bed all the tags marked all over you?

       ~Blessings,
                    Kalei