Living Inside Out!!

Introduction

         There are a lot of people who are still talking about the movie Inside Out!!  I had the chance to see it when it came out in theaters and was inspired to write this amazing blog about how the we all needs to gain a better understanding of how to expresses themselves or use their emotions appropriately.  This being said I apologize as I let time get the better of me.  Through the courses I have been taking at school as well as the course of my years as an adult, I have come to realize a few things: There is a time and place for everything (see Eccl. 3) discussing my fears or emotions is one thing, while conquering them is another.  It may seem obvious when you put it in such plain words, but as much as I thought I knew this I guess I thought writing about it was how I could deal with it.  While writing about what I am going through may inspire me to change or help me come up with ideas to do so, but it will not necessarily solve the problem unless I allow it to.

Living Inside Out!!

 Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 (NIV)

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace."

Titus 3:9-10
9 Do not argue with people about foolish questions and about the Law. Do not spend time talking about all of your early fathers. This does not help anyone and it is of no use. 10 Talk once or twice to a person who tries to divide people into groups against each other. If he does not stop, have nothing to do with him. 

         There was a time in life where I unknowingly was believing a lie or only half of the truth: "If God's got everything in control then life's great.  What reason do we have to complain?"  Often people (myself included) think that those who complain are annoying.  They judge them for what they see on the surface rather than ask if they are ok or simply come down to earth and just listen.  Within the last year I have found for me it is easier to process or think through problems externally.  Now I may not want to, but if not, I will bottle it up.  Instead I should leave the cap loose if not off, so as to not later burst all at once.  Now, I am not saying we should complain all the time, but it's ok to cry every now and then and learn how to express yourself appropriately.  Take the movie "Inside Out" for example.  The whole movie was built around the fact that the little girl was doing all she could not to cry, when in the end crying was a way to release all the unnecessary tension in her body.  Now I do not cry as often as I should.  It is as if I feel there is usually something wrong with me if I am.  There are also times when it is best to talk or simply vent with someone and there are times you just need to cry and that is ok.  So look at it this way.  The next time someone pisses you off there may be something going on under the surface.  This is not always the case and they may not even want to talk about it; however, instead of jumping to conclusions, stop and say maybe they are hurting.  Even if they are not, what good is it to add fire to the fire.  Put it out with water instead and try to fight heat with kindness.  Life is easy.  People make it difficult.

      In the pilot of Friday Night Lights, Coach Taylor says, "Every man at some point in his life is gonna lose a battle.  But what makes him a man is that in the midst of the battle, he does not lose himself."  It is just like the saying, it's not the mistake, but how you deal with it.  From the world’s perspective, how we deal with life is often determined by our emotional state; however, it doesn't have to be.  It all comes down to finding the appropriate use for our emotions.  As stated before in "Inside Out" she finally gave in at the end and used sadness to express herself when she had no other option.  Have you ever seen the commercials for allergy medicine where the picture starts off fuzzy and then later the fog is lifted?  Now, when I say God has everything in control it has a deeper meaning.  I don’t just brush it off and say everything is ok.  I do my best to stop, pray, and think about what I should do in the midst of my everyday life.  It was as if I was looking through a cloud and all of a sudden it was just lifted and the colors around me were heightened and I saw everything anew.  I try to think more positively or if I get stuck in the mud ask God to provide a way out of it.  Sometimes we all need to cry or step out of our comfort zone to heal.  Sometimes he will do it on his own or through others, while other times the answer to prayer comes through actions.  It's not always easy to express yourself and society's expectations don't make it any easier, so rid yourself from any preconceived ideas or intentions of how to go about it and just try it.  You will never really know until you do.  As we see in the scriptures it says to cast your cares and concerns upon the Lord.  There are many ways of expressing yourself.  Just because you are using something someone else wrote does not make you weak, it's still your voice so let it be heard.

Fail or Success

          In order to move on to my future, it has become necessary to look at my past.  There are times I dwell in my past and have not been able to see any hope in my future, but with one step at a time, I am getting closer to a goal for a much happier and brighter future.  Not living in the past or dwelling on it, but remembering the past and learning from it, so as to better live in the present for a better future.  I find it interesting that often "The enemy fights the hardest when he knows God has something good in store."  I love how it is best put in Season 3 of the TV show Nikita—The Guardian: “…to think about her future…she needs to be completely clear-eyed about her past.  After all, we can’t know where we’re going until we know where we came from.  It’s not an easy journey, it can be painful, arduous, but if we have the courage to face the truth it can lead to the right path…[sometimes we just need] clarity.  Our minds can be unreliable narrators.  You may think you know with absolute certainty what’s in your past and then you find out you don’t know the past at all.”  I have been through a lot   
         

The best thing anyone could say to me is you're not going to make it as a singer, you can't sing.  Many leaders were told of their insignificance.  Take Moses for example, he was convinced he had a speech problem when in the end it turned out he was just scared and didn't see it until he tried.  Albert Einstein was thought to be mentally handicapped and anti-social because he did not speak until later in life, but became to be a great scientist.  Plus if you ask me it's better to listen more than speak and I think he said something about that.  No in all seriousness telling me I couldn't sing was what pushed me to realize I wasn't living up to my fullest potential and ever since I began to see I never really pushed myself when it came to the I don't really care to do.  Like for instance, I am now in a Jazz class and I realized I am having a lot of fun with finding freedom in my voice and I should just let go and not care what I sound like.  Isn't that true with life as well, live, learn, and grow?  That year I found myself looking at other areas in life and putting more effort to learn from my mistakes.  Sometimes it takes a mistake to learn what we shouldn't do or don't want.  It was as if God was asking me if I was born walking and talking.  Well, when you think about it we have been learning from our mistakes since birth, we needed to fall before we walked correctly and mess-up our speech before we could form words.  I like how Eric from Friday Night Lights puts it, "Every man at some point in his life is gonna lose a battle.  He's gonna fight and he's gonna lose, but what makes him a man is that in the midst of that battle, he does not lose himself."  In other words, it's not what we go through, but how we respond to it.  I hope to one day I learn to carry the freedom I learn in Jazz to all the music and in life as well.  As I said once before true freedom is when we are comfortable with vulnerability.  That way I can learn to give my all through all I seek out in honor and reverence of the Lord.  For as it states in 2 Corinthians 10:17 "Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord."  Now I am not saying life is all about the achievements in life; however, it is often full of surprise and sometimes we need to work around them with what we have.  A lot of times we go through struggles that may bring us down, but it should only move us to push harder from another direction.  Now the teacher I had the conversation with may not like my answer, but there are plenty of times teachers have said this and I seek to do this, but only on a momentary standard, so it's about time I made a change and learn my lesson.  This being said don't let anyone convince you that you can't do something until you try.  Hard may not be easy, but it's not impossible.  For it's only as hard as you make it, so why not make it fun and as enjoyable as you can.