Forgiveness

Forgiveness
 Note: There are those who debate whether or not we are to forgive someone if they do not accept our forgiveness.  For sometime I did not understand it until someone said, "blatantly forgiving someone who sinned against you, and they do not repent and accept it, is the same as accepting the sin to be ok."  In other words forgiving someone is not accepting what they did, but rather that you are willing to forgive them are praying for them digitally.  All this while being patient and not holding a grudge against them if they do not repent.

Romans 2:4
"Or do you presume on the riches of his kindness and forbearance and patience, not knowing that God's kindness is meant to lead you to repentance?"

Matthew 5:43-47 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven.  He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.  If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that?” 

Psalm 103: 12 "As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

2 Timothy 2:4, 22-26 “No soldier gets entangled in civilian pursuits, since his aim is to please the one who enlisted him…So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.  Have nothing to do with foolish, ignorant controversies; you know that they breed quarrels.  And the Lord's servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, after being captured by him to do his will.”
 

        “Blessed is the one who receives vengeance upon their family and does not respond in vengeance!!”  For as we see in Romans 4:2 it is the kindness of the Lord that brings us to repentance.  In Matthew 5:43-47 we are told to love our enemies, but what does that really mean?  We hear forgive and forget all the time, but do we really take into account what that looks like?  I rarely hold grudges; however the death of a mother and daughter due to vengeance has caused me to question my thinking.  I was surprised and a little humbled with the response the family had in this situation.  "...I would like to extend my sincere thanks...We have almost felt in a physical sense God's hands reaching out to us and holding us up in your faithful prayers.  It truly has been a humbling experience for us to have received such loving support and mere words seem scarcely enough to express our thanks, but we want to give all the glory to our God."  Now it is not like I do not believe in the power of God, and honestly am not sure what I expected, but just did not expect a family in that situation to respond with such gratitude.  For Christ traded his life for a murderer, Barabbas, who did not even known who Christ was, but he did it anyway.  
         We may not always be able to forget, but that does not give us permission to hold a grudge against anyone.  I looked up the word forgive in hopes of finding a connection between forgive and forget and all I got was "the action or process of forgiving or being forgiven."  The old English was forgiefan or forgiefenes means to give, bestow, cause, deliver, grant, or inflict.  It is almost like saying forgiveness is a gift or at least in the old English that is.  So to forgive those who did you or your loved ones wrong is a gift someone bestows upon someone else.  My point in all this is that the family who had this death was very humble and through help from others began to turn it around and pray for the person who attacked their family instead of returning it with vengeance.  Now do not get me wrong, sure what they did may have been wrong, but why get caught up in it?  We all make mistakes, so why let that determine how we treat ourselves or others?  Christ took the place of Barabbas, a thug, and murderer, through death on the cross.  Christ, Lord and man who came and lived a blameless life and died for a ruthless sinner, for all sinners past, present, and future by death on a cross.  Now that is what I call true love.  It may be hard and they may not even accept it, but in the long run forgiveness is more worth it than grief or vengeance.  

          It is hard when you have to forgive someone who does not understand or accept it.  In that case we have to realize we have done all we can and should not let it get to us, feel guilty or blame ourselves where we are not to be blamed.  When I sought answers for the death of my first crush my sophomore year of high school I began blaming myself due to situations prior to his death and in college after forgiving my ex I was left with a since of guilt and ended up with a need to forgive myself.  I am not saying I was not at fault in either situation, but what good does it do to blame myself.  In some cases when we forgive others we first have to forgive ourselves realizing we were just as at fault as they were.  My pastor always says "choices have both good and bad consequences." or as I like to say we are only subject to the choices we make.  Instead of regret, the best I can do is learn from the past to ensure a better future.  There are also family members that come to mind where I would say we have our differences.  Even though I strive to forgive, at times I let our differences get the better of me.  It may be easy to point fingers or prove them wrong, but what is the point if it is not going to get anywhere?  No one is perfect, so am I any better?  I love how Mike Donehey puts it: “God is not an elephant.”  Elephants have a good memory and rarely forget; however God forgets.  If God is not an elephant, why then should we be?  We may not forget everything that was done, but if we all make mistakes why hold it against them nor do I always agree with them, but it does not mean I should push them away all entirely.  

As a follower of Christ I do my best to forgive even if just to point to the cross.  For Christ forgave so His father could forget: Psalm 103:12 “He has removed our sins as far as the east is from the west.”  As Christ said in Luke 23: “Father forgive them for they don’t know what they do.”  In 2 Timothy 2 Paul also says we ought to stand for peace and not argue for simply arguments sake.  Why argue with something that will end in nothing when you could allow God to make it into something more.  It is one thing to listen and reply with humility and kindness, but it is another to believe or stand for what they say or believe.  Just because you respect them as a person does not mean you have to believe it yourself.  Does Christ not call us to love our enemies (Matthew 5:43-47)?  It goes further on to say in Matthew 7:3 not judging others when you have something to deal with yourself as well.  In other words let us not be hypocrites, “for those who judge will be judged.  For what good is it to talk about a wrong in the life of another, yet abide by the same wrong yourself?

          Yes there are times one may have to push people away if or when it causes us to fall.  In this regards however it doesn't mean we should not point them in the right direction or to another if they come to us seeking help.  For what good is it to hate when they are now seeking help?  Mike Donehey once mentioned his youth pastor who said, "…Good character is corrupted by bad company.  No matter how good you are, you’ll never be able to pull those bad people up to you, so it’s better if you just leave them alone."  Mike then concluded with: "when I look at Jesus I don’t think Jesus was standing on a chair looking down on people.  In fact he was hanging out with whores and drunks…, so…get down off your pedestal and down on your face and wash some feet…Then you won’t have to worry about who’s corrupting who.”  As stated earlier we may not be able to forget, but we don't have to get caught up in it.  With this realization, respect may be a better word to relate to forgiveness.  Remember the father who lost a mother/wife and daughter/sister?  I loved what the father said in the bulletin at the funeral.  "...I would like to extend my sincere thanks...We have almost felt in a physical sense God's hands reaching out to us and holding us up in your faithful prayers.  It truly has been a humbling experience for us to have received such loving support and mere words seem scarcely enough to express our thanks, but we want to give all the glory to our God."  Not only has this been a humbling experience for myself, but with a recent glimpse into my past in order to look into my future I have been able to forgive myself in areas I didn't realize I just put aside and needed to.  Blessed is the one who receives vengeance upon their family, yet still responds, "I forgive you!!"  That is what I call True Love.  If God can forgive us why then can we not forgive?

                       Blessings,                                   

                                Kalei

I would love to hear some of your thoughts or opinions on this subject.  Please feel free to leave you comments and questions or any other suggestions on topics you would like me to blog about!!  I am open to any suggestions and compliments as well as constructive criticism.
      ~Thanks

Souces:

Jesus is Loving Barabbas

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RwX_EpNR4CA
God is not an Elephant Mike Donehey:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U-mNFhHafjM

The Chair Mike Donehey:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N4UDgKqY3EE

Other Resources:

If We're Honest Francesca Battistelli: 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lDcTvtuuVU8

Forgiveness Matthew West
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n9J6xOT3Ldw 

Leader or Follower

Matthew 15:14 (ESV)
"Let them alone; they are blind guides.  And if the blind lead the blind, both will fall into a pit."

Deuteronomy 5:24-27 (NIV)

And you said, “The Lord our God has shown us his glory and his majesty, and we have heard his voice from the fire. Today we have seen that a person can live even if God speaks with them.  But now, why should we die?  This great fire will consume us, and we will die if we hear the voice of the Lord our God any longer.  For what mortal has ever heard the voice of the living God speaking out of fire, as we have, and survived?  Go near and listen to all that the LORD our God says. Then tell us whatever the Lord our God tells you. We will listen and obey.”

John 16:13 (NLT)

 "When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all truth. He will not speak on his own but will tell you what he has heard.  He will tell you about the future." 

         Leadership is all over the media and affects all ages especially teens and kids today.  What about kids?  How should it be addressed?  What are good leaders?  When I was young  I never had a problem with making friends or hanging out with the wrong crowd, but I was always a team player; always following them around and doing what they did.  I listened to and sought after advice from mentors, teachers, and pastors but never really embraced it or stood for something on my own.  Growing up with a father who struggled with depression I never really had a leader in my life and was a little hesitant at first when I began to take on leadership roles.  I worried I didn't know what a leader was, but later realized I may have known more than I thought.
         There may be born leaders; however leadership is discovered.  If you look at the great leaders of today and through history, they all had guidance or someone to follow that formed how they lead and encourage others to follow the same things.  Even Jesus followed the example of his heavenly father.  When you think about it, choices determine who or what we follow.  If this is so doesn't that make them followers and not leaders?  "Hold up so you're saying there is no such thing as a leader?"  Don't get me wrong there are people who point or lead others in certain directions or they would not be called leaders; however they need a basis to form their opinions, thoughts, or ideas.  What it all comes down to is who do you follow?  When we learn to follow Christ it not only takes off the pressure, but leaves room for humility, and room for God's intervention or to do it God's way and not ours, so maybe I knew what I was doing all all along; to follow.  Yes we can lead others or point people to Christ, but is it not God who directs anyway?    
            A lot of kids and teens today find their life guidance from the people in the music and TV world.  While some may know who gives the best advice as many of you know that is not always the case and some just pick and choose the advice that seems right to them.  The world is starving for Godly leaders and true leaders follow rather than lead.   While we may not be able to control everything that influences our kids, we can do our best to set an example for them by following instead of leading.   We all have the opportunity to lead at some point whether big or small, so next time you have that opportunity to lead, ask yourself if you are following or leading. And the next time someone asks what makes a great leader you can say a good leader knows who is best to follow.   Joshua led the people into The Promise Land.  We need more Joshua's today.  Be the one who follows Christ and points others to Heaven, God's Kingdom or The Promise Land of today!!  

      God Bless,  
                 Kalei