1 Corinthians 6:12-13, 19-20 (New Living Version)
“ I am allowed to do all things, but not everything is good for me to do! Even if I am free to do all things, I will not do them if I think it would be hard for me to stop when I know I should...The body was not meant for sex sins. It was meant to work for the Lord. The Lord is for our body..." Do you not know that your bodies are a part of Christ Himself? Am I to take part of Christ and make it a part of a woman who sells the use of her body? No! Never Do you not know that a man who joins himself to a woman who sells the use of her body becomes a part of her? The Holy writings say, 'The two will become one.'...Do you not know that your body is a house of God [other versions say temple] where the Holy Spirit lives? God gave you His holy Spirit. Now you belong to God. You do not belong to yourself. God bought you with a great price. So honor God with your body. You belong to Him."
Luke 9:23(NIV)
“Then he said to them all: 'Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me."
Confession relationships have not always been my strong suit. Yes I'm great at building friendships, but what I am referring to is a relationship with the opposite sex. In my family, my age group is the next to get married, so it is a topic I have been thinking about a lot lately. I've only been in one relationship, but it did not end well.
My first year of College I saw a great spiritual need, but not many outlets to offer help. I was ministering to others so much there were times I forgot to take care of myself and was drawn into the attention I was receiving from guys. At first it was simply conversational, but then lead to a friendship and it was not until it was too late that I realized I had a problem. I thought I was putting the needs of the other first. I had the right intentions, but let my emotions get the better of me. I looked to man instead of God. As Mike Donehey puts it, "When I realize I don't want that thing
[, but] it's really the one who made that thing [or person] that's the one my soul longs for I can trust Christ [with my life]."
OK, so let me start off by saying too many people in society portray the wrong idea of a relationship and it is almost nauseating. Too often do I see people rushing into a relationship without getting to know the person. In a discussion in one of my classes a student said people questioned why her and her fiance had not lived together before they got engaged or even talked about marriage. What happened to getting to know one another? As we see 1 Corinthians 6:16, "a man who joins himself to a woman...becomes a part of her." Science calls it a releases of oxytocin and vasopressin creating a strong bond between one another lasting regardless if they want it or not. The release of these hormones are often believed to be the reason some people stay in an abusive relationship. Knowing this is it really worth pushing the limits in a dating relationship when you are not sure will last? I love the way singer/songwriter Tyler Ward put it, "You're never going to find the right person until you are the right person." This being said we don't know what we have to offer or sometimes even what we want until we know ourselves.
Marriage is more than a simple companionship. It is a relationship with one another designed to glory God by showing the full image of Christ. If dating is practice for marriage, how can we know our role if we don't know who we are in Christ? I love how the movie Not Easily Broken ends, "God didn't make me to be a husband [wife], coach, or daddy [mommy]. These are just titles not who we are as men [women]. But I guess, sometimes he has to let life turn you upside-down so you can learn how to live right side up". To be honest for the longest time I always thought I was a Tomboy or one of the so called, "tough girls". It's not so much that I liked to hang around guys. In fact I avoided guys until my Junior year of High School. It was as if I saw them to be "fairly useless and unhelpful" as Courtney Reissig says in her book, Accidental Feminist. I was also afraid of doing anything girly as if it would make me seem weak. Culture has many stereotypes on the roles men and women play in both the world and home. It doesn't make any girl/guy less or more of a girl/guy if you do or don't do the things every girl/guy does. As long as you are being yourself and are not afraid of who you are that's all that matters. So don't hold back just be yourself no matter what others think. If someone doesn't like it that's their problem. Besides all that really matters is what God thinks of you right?
I didn't know what true love was until I knew who I was in Christ or what I really wanted. I sought after affection and comfort from others to fill what only God could. Then coming from a broken relationship I believed a lie that the broken relationship was all I knew; that I couldn't love and wondered if I ever did. I began to learn that as C.S. Lewis puts it, "humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less." I've had a rough start and I don't know about you, but I want to start new, to save myself for someone special and I'd go as far to say till marriage. I have no problem with falling in love with my best friend and wouldn't mind if he loved God more than me. There is more to a relationship than the physical and sometimes all it takes is to really get to know yourself before you know what you have to offer or even what you want. So who are you really and are you believing a lie keeping you from seeing the real you, (who God made you to be) and how does that affect your relationships?
Sources:
I Suck, You Suck, Let's Date! Tyler Ward
Sex Tips (my hope for young women) Tyler Ward:
Where Life Will Never Die Mike Donehey
Beloved: The Last Supper - Mike Donehey
Other Resources:
Why It's so Important to Marry a Godly Man!!
Don't Settle When You're Dating Jefferson Bethke:
Marriage is more than a simple companionship. It is a relationship with one another designed to glory God by showing the full image of Christ. If dating is practice for marriage, how can we know our role if we don't know who we are in Christ? I love how the movie Not Easily Broken ends, "God didn't make me to be a husband [wife], coach, or daddy [mommy]. These are just titles not who we are as men [women]. But I guess, sometimes he has to let life turn you upside-down so you can learn how to live right side up". To be honest for the longest time I always thought I was a Tomboy or one of the so called, "tough girls". It's not so much that I liked to hang around guys. In fact I avoided guys until my Junior year of High School. It was as if I saw them to be "fairly useless and unhelpful" as Courtney Reissig says in her book, Accidental Feminist. I was also afraid of doing anything girly as if it would make me seem weak. Culture has many stereotypes on the roles men and women play in both the world and home. It doesn't make any girl/guy less or more of a girl/guy if you do or don't do the things every girl/guy does. As long as you are being yourself and are not afraid of who you are that's all that matters. So don't hold back just be yourself no matter what others think. If someone doesn't like it that's their problem. Besides all that really matters is what God thinks of you right?
I didn't know what true love was until I knew who I was in Christ or what I really wanted. I sought after affection and comfort from others to fill what only God could. Then coming from a broken relationship I believed a lie that the broken relationship was all I knew; that I couldn't love and wondered if I ever did. I began to learn that as C.S. Lewis puts it, "humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less." I've had a rough start and I don't know about you, but I want to start new, to save myself for someone special and I'd go as far to say till marriage. I have no problem with falling in love with my best friend and wouldn't mind if he loved God more than me. There is more to a relationship than the physical and sometimes all it takes is to really get to know yourself before you know what you have to offer or even what you want. So who are you really and are you believing a lie keeping you from seeing the real you, (who God made you to be) and how does that affect your relationships?
Sources:
I Suck, You Suck, Let's Date! Tyler Ward
Sex Tips (my hope for young women) Tyler Ward:
Where Life Will Never Die Mike Donehey
Beloved: The Last Supper - Mike Donehey
Other Resources:
Why It's so Important to Marry a Godly Man!!
Don't Settle When You're Dating Jefferson Bethke:
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