Confession

1 Corinthians 6:12-13, 19-20 (New Living Version)

“ I am allowed to do all things, but not everything is good for me to do!  Even if I am free to do all things, I will not do them if I think it would be hard for me to stop when I know I should...The body was not meant for sex sins.  It was meant to work for the Lord.  The Lord is for our body..."  Do you not know that your bodies are a part of Christ Himself?  Am I to take part of Christ and make it a part of a woman who sells the use of her body? No! Never  Do you not know that a man who joins himself to a woman who sells the use of her body becomes a part of her?  The Holy writings say, 'The two will become one.'...Do you not know that your body is a house of God [other versions say temple] where the Holy Spirit lives?  God gave you His holy Spirit.  Now you belong to God.  You do not belong to yourself.  God bought you with a great price.  So honor God with your body.  You belong to Him."  

Luke 9:23(NIV)

“Then he said to them all: 'Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me."

         Confession relationships have not always been my strong suit.  Yes I'm great at building friendships, but what I am referring to is a relationship with the opposite sex.  In my family, my age group is the next to get married, so it is a topic I have been thinking about a lot lately.  I've only been in one relationship, but it did not end well.
         My first year of College I saw a great spiritual need, but not many outlets to offer help.  I was ministering to others so much there were times I forgot to take care of myself and was drawn into the attention I was receiving from guys.  At first it was simply conversational, but then lead to a friendship and it was not until it was too late that I realized I had a problem.  I thought I was putting the needs of the other first.  I had the right intentions, but let my emotions get the better of me.  I looked to man instead of God.  As Mike Donehey puts it, "When I realize I don't want that thing
[, but] it's really the one who made that thing [or person] that's the one my soul longs for I can trust Christ [with my life]."

          OK, so let me start off by saying too many people in society portray the wrong idea of a relationship and it is almost nauseating.  Too often do I see people rushing into a relationship without getting to know the person.  In a discussion in one of my classes a student said people questioned why her and her fiance had not lived together before they got engaged or even talked about marriage.  What happened to getting to know one another?  As we see 1 Corinthians 6:16, "a man who joins himself to a woman...becomes a part of her."  Science calls it a releases of oxytocin and vasopressin creating a strong bond between one another lasting regardless if they want it or not.  The release of these hormones are often believed to be the reason some people stay in an abusive relationship.  Knowing this is it really worth pushing the limits in a dating relationship when you are not sure will last?  I love the way singer/songwriter Tyler Ward put it, "You're never going to find the right person until you are the right person."  This being said we don't know what we have to offer or sometimes even what we want until we know ourselves.
       Marriage is more than a simple companionship.  It is a relationship with one another designed to glory God by showing the full image of Christ.  If dating is practice for marriage, how can we know our role if we don't know who we are in Christ?  I love how the movie Not Easily Broken ends, "God didn't make me to be a husband [wife], coach, or daddy [mommy].  These are just titles not who we are as men [women].  But I guess, sometimes he has to let life turn you upside-down so you can learn how to live right side up".  To be honest for the longest time I always thought I was a Tomboy or one of the so called, "tough girls".  It's not so much that I liked to hang around guys.  In fact I avoided guys until my Junior year of High School.  It was as if I saw them to be "fairly useless and unhelpful" as Courtney Reissig says in her book, Accidental Feminist.  I was also afraid of doing anything girly as if it would make me seem weak.  Culture has many stereotypes on the roles men and women play in both the world and home.  It doesn't make any girl/guy less or more of a girl/guy if you do or don't do the things every girl/guy does.  As long as you are being yourself and are not afraid of who you are that's all that matters.  So don't hold back just be yourself no matter what others think.  If someone doesn't like it that's their problem.  Besides all that really matters is what God thinks of you right?
       I didn't know what true love was until I knew who I was in Christ or what I really wanted.  I sought after affection and comfort from others to fill what only God could.  Then coming from a broken relationship I believed a lie that the broken relationship was all I knew; that I couldn't love and wondered if I ever did.  I began to learn that as C.S. Lewis puts it, "humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less."  I've had a rough start and I don't know about you, but I want to start new, to save myself for someone special and I'd go as far to say till marriage.  I have no problem with falling in love with my best friend and wouldn't mind if he loved God more than me.  There is more to a relationship than the physical and sometimes all it takes is to really get to know yourself before you know what you have to offer or even what you want.  So who are you really and are you believing a lie keeping you from seeing the real you, (who God made you to be) and how does that affect your relationships?

Sources:
I Suck, You Suck, Let's Date! Tyler Ward

Sex Tips (my hope for young women) Tyler Ward:

Where Life Will Never Die Mike Donehey

Beloved: The Last Supper - Mike Donehey

Other Resources:
Why It's so Important to Marry a Godly Man!!

Don't Settle When You're Dating Jefferson Bethke:

Fear or Humility

Romans 8:31-39
“What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?"  

        We are to fear God not man.  We should not be afraid of God, but we should fear Him in reverence to who he is as Job learned to do.  Fear can promote humility with the appropriate response!!  Don't get me wrong, fear is not of God; however overcoming fear is not accomplished without humility.  Too often are we clouded by pride.  When we fear we feel vulnerable and vulnerability reminds us of our mistakes.  Overcoming our fears allow us to Trust God and fear him rather than man.

True freedom comes when you're not afraid of vulnerability.  Then and only then can you fully surrender; giving God full authority.

If you are interested in more these are published in a devotional on Amazon: link to come

   
#Kalei #Blogs #Fear #Misunderstood

Sources Used:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mZL2tAWcGj8&list=PLrq5kfc63lHdyJ7sHMNwKKqGXmMO4G-OA&index=2

Community

John 16:33 (ESV). "I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation period but take heart semicolon I have overcome the world."

Genesis 1:26
“Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.”

Hebrews 10:24-25(ESV)"And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.

         We all live and learn.  I could go on and on about all the pain I have been through; anger management as a young child, the suicidal death of a friend my sophomore year of High School, and about a year ago went to the funeral of a daughter I went to Highschool with and her mother.  I have had my fair share of pain and it has not always been an easy road, but it has only made me stronger.  Experience has taught me that it's not what you've been through, but how you respond and we were not meant to do it alone, but live in community.  Looking back I would say that while hard may not be easy and neither is it impossible, in order to overcome the situation there are times others are needed for guidance.  Yes, there are times we can do it ourselves and in no way should we be lazy, but there comes a point when you need to seek the counsel of others.          

 

For more see link below for full devotional on Amazon coming soon:

Forgiveness

Forgiveness
 Note: There are those who debate whether or not we are to forgive someone if they do not accept our forgiveness.  For sometime I did not understand it until someone said, "blatantly forgiving someone who sinned against you, and they do not repent and accept it, is the same as accepting the sin to be ok."  In other words forgiving someone is not accepting what they did, but rather that you are willing to forgive them are praying for them digitally.  All this while being patient and not holding a grudge against them if they do not repent.

Romans 2:4
"Or do you presume on the riches of his kindness and forbearance and patience, not knowing that God's kindness is meant to lead you to repentance?"

Matthew 5:43-47 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven.  He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.  If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that?” 

Psalm 103: 12 "As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

2 Timothy 2:4, 22-26 “No soldier gets entangled in civilian pursuits, since his aim is to please the one who enlisted him…So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.  Have nothing to do with foolish, ignorant controversies; you know that they breed quarrels.  And the Lord's servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, after being captured by him to do his will.”
 

        “Blessed is the one who receives vengeance upon their family and does not respond in vengeance!!”  For as we see in Romans 4:2 it is the kindness of the Lord that brings us to repentance.  In Matthew 5:43-47 we are told to love our enemies, but what does that really mean?  We hear forgive and forget all the time, but do we really take into account what that looks like?  I rarely hold grudges; however the death of a mother and daughter due to vengeance has caused me to question my thinking.  I was surprised and a little humbled with the response the family had in this situation.  "...I would like to extend my sincere thanks...We have almost felt in a physical sense God's hands reaching out to us and holding us up in your faithful prayers.  It truly has been a humbling experience for us to have received such loving support and mere words seem scarcely enough to express our thanks, but we want to give all the glory to our God."  Now it is not like I do not believe in the power of God, and honestly am not sure what I expected, but just did not expect a family in that situation to respond with such gratitude.  For Christ traded his life for a murderer, Barabbas, who did not even known who Christ was, but he did it anyway.  
        

For more stay tuned for link below for full devotional on Amazon coming soon:

Souces:

Jesus is Loving Barabbas

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RwX_EpNR4CA
God is not an Elephant Mike Donehey:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U-mNFhHafjM

The Chair Mike Donehey:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N4UDgKqY3EE

Other Resources:

If We're Honest Francesca Battistelli: 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lDcTvtuuVU8

Forgiveness Matthew West
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n9J6xOT3Ldw 

Leader or Follower

Matthew 15:14 (ESV)
"Let them alone; they are blind guides.  And if the blind lead the blind, both will fall into a pit."

Deuteronomy 5:24-27 (NIV)

And you said, “The Lord our God has shown us his glory and his majesty, and we have heard his voice from the fire. Today we have seen that a person can live even if God speaks with them.  But now, why should we die?  This great fire will consume us, and we will die if we hear the voice of the Lord our God any longer.  For what mortal has ever heard the voice of the living God speaking out of fire, as we have, and survived?  Go near and listen to all that the LORD our God says. Then tell us whatever the Lord our God tells you. We will listen and obey.”

John 16:13 (NLT)

 "When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all truth. He will not speak on his own but will tell you what he has heard.  He will tell you about the future." 

         Leadership is all over the media and affects all ages especially teens and kids today.  What about kids?  How should it be addressed?  What are good leaders?  When I was young  I never had a problem with making friends or hanging out with the wrong crowd, but I was always a team player; always following them around and doing what they did.  I listened to and sought after advice from mentors, teachers, and pastors but never really embraced it or stood for something on my own.  Growing up with a father who struggled with depression I never really had a leader in my life and was a little hesitant at first when I began to take on leadership roles.  I worried I didn't know what a leader was, but later realized I may have known more than I thought.
         There may be born leaders; however leadership is discovered.  If you look at the great leaders of today and through history, they all had guidance or someone to follow that formed how they lead and encourage others to follow the same things.  Even Jesus followed the example of his heavenly father.  When you think about it, choices determine who or what we follow.  If this is so doesn't that make them followers and not leaders?  "Hold up so you're saying there is no such thing as a leader?"  Don't get me wrong there are people who point or lead others in certain directions or they would not be called leaders; however they need a basis to form their opinions, thoughts, or ideas.  What it all comes down to is who do you follow?  When we learn to follow Christ it not only takes off the pressure, but leaves room for humility, and room for God's intervention or to do it God's way and not ours, so maybe I knew what I was doing all all along; to follow.  Yes we can lead others or point people to Christ, but is it not God who directs anyway?    
         

Expectation

Galatians 3:3-6 "Are you so foolish? After beginning by means of the Spirit, are you now trying to finish by means of the flesh? Have you experienced so much in vain—if it really was in vain?  So again I ask, does God give you his Spirit and work miracles among you by the works of the law, or by your believing what you heard?"

Jeremiah 29:11
"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Proverbs 16:9
"In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps."  

Expectation—preconceived tags for greatness or failure put on by others or yourself.  Do we let them dictate who we are, what to say or throw away the tags and just be ourselves?  There are times we may be weighed down by expectations, whether brought on from others or ourselves.  We have a choice to let it break us or make us strong.  Having an original goal of being a music therapy major I am beginning to realize how much music is used every day as therapy not only for myself, but many others as well.  I often find it to be the easiest way to express myself under difficult situations.  In a video journal on their song Warn, Tenth Avenue North's lead singer, Mike Donehey, points out that it is rarely the things in life that are the most comfortable where we see God's hand at work.  He has a point.  It can be a good thing to complain or just talk it out even with yourself, but if a solution is not found from it what is the point?  Instead why not try to look at it from God's perspective?  Why not ask God what he wants to teach us through this circumstance?  In another discussion about their song, The Struggle, Tenth Avenue North’s lead singer, Mike Donehey, points out that it's often in hardships we cry out to the Lord to take them away when we need to be careful to note being a believer does not guarantee life will be easier.  He goes on and reiterates that it's often in hardships we cry out to the Lord to take them away when we need to be careful to note being a believer does not guarantee life will be easier.